I keep feeling constantly that i have become a completely different person, that the past 2 years have been an exponential learning curve through & through; personally, academically, professionally; and that every aspect of me feels different. To the point where at times i feel i don’t know myself anymore. Its definitely been a monumental journey and the deep impact it has had deserves to be recorded; I am definitely in a massive transition period where I am yet to find my lost footing with myself. Here’s an attempt at that self –rediscovery.

How did my mba change me?

To begin with, i have become highly adept at managing a household, and though I hardly enjoy it any more than i ever did, so is the general consensus amongst my friends. Sure I had my fair share of burning holes in the bottom of pans while cooking and clothes while ironing; butanyone i didn’t tell myself won’t believe it. Of course i have taken care to get rid of all evidence to the effect ;)

A friend’s father recently called me any household’s future delight as a rare MBA smart girl who can manage the house perfectly well. Needless to say, my mother is delighted. and even more needless to add, my pre MBA friends are just too shocked to believe anything. In their words, “the wild cat has been domesticated!” :P

The obvious, academic broadening of horizons; i know much more than i did before all the studying in MBA; even if i didn’t study as much as I would have liked to. I can do much more in excel than add numbers :D

What else? I guess the gazillion presentations have had their effect. So while I have had quite a history of public speaking, as a debator, compere, even newsreader, I learnt that giving a presentation is a completely different ball game and to top that I know PPT functions I never knew existed :D

I have aged 2.5 more years since 2008, so I suppose I probably have matured; though there are aspects to my life where I still feel like the same idiot that I have always been. Only it feels much worse now. Whoever said you can learn from your mistakes and move on...I have got something to say to you.. some mistakes you just keep making over & over. I bet there’s the Freudian theory to it somewhere ;)

A lot of things I knew I was reasonably good at, networking, socialising, confrontations, competitiveness, I have just become more adept at them I guess. I learnt the true value of healthy competition, and the rarity with which competition is ever healthy. Definitely work out more than I ever have in my entire life, though I doubt MBA had anything to do with it; may be except the dozens of Kgs I had put on in the last 2 years churning 1 assignment or email after another from my laptop, getting up only to eat, sleep..and well you know. :P

A natural introvert, something of a rebellious loner, I am much more comfortable talking to strangers than before, though again my first nature still rules. I just don’t detest having the 2^nd one to take over.

I am far more environmentally conscious than I ever was; yup that’s definitely all the climate change studying and work I did in MBA, and the difference I learnt 1 person can actually make!

I have always been a very spiritual person but more of an iconoclast when it comes to traditions. Yet, living in a foreign country with no family to provide the much needed anchor made me more religious than before. With traditions I am still of the same opinion, if they go out context of the times we live in, they must be changed. when traditions start ruling the society, they start suffocating the individuals. and that generates only 2 kinds of people. more on this in a later post...

I have become more conscious of my multi tasking skills, my ability to stretch myself and the weakness of stretching myself too thin at times. I have learnt that I can keep functioning on little sleep for almost a week and also how harmful & unhealthy it is to do so. I have learnt what a workaholic I can become and how important it is to maintain the work life balance.

Many a times, MBA taught me many things I didn’t want to know, but probably needed to. How frivolously people treat their own commitments, the callous manipulativeness, the ruthless aggression, and many such things that I had always refused to believe existed anywhere outside movies. Not that it has gone a long way in changing the way I deal with people, I still start off by thinking everyone is nice, st forward and simple; but I guess I just pick up the signs to show otherwise faster and adapt myself quicker. I suppose I am less naive than I used to be.

But I guess I am still the same person in many ways, I still come across as very approachable to some people and very cold to others...and I still don’t understand why that happens! I just know I act on the vibes I get. :P My instincts are still as accurate as ever.And I am still as incorrigible when it comes to ignoring them and landing into trouble!!

someone a few days ago put this as his FB msg

"if you could kick hard the person responsible for all your problems, you wouldn't be able to sit for a week"

couldn't have said it better myself!!! I always believed in making mistakes as long as I learn from them, grow as a person and not repeat them. I think the marginal utility of those mistakes has long approached zero, I should change strategies now & become more risk averse & start playing safe!

Recently realised that my wit and sarcasm still haven’t lost their touch......

But I guess my biggest learning has been as follows:

The simple teachings of childhood: humility, politeness, honesty, being nice, respect to teachers & elders, love to younger ones, kindness to the less fortunate, contentment, trusting in others’ goodness of heart, dedication & commitment to your duties....the simple practical things that my Mom taught me as I was growing up...those things are still as universally applicable as ever; and definitely more in need in today’s world than ever before.